@12:49 AM
i don't know why everything seems so pathetic and poointless..
why do i smoke?
it's like.. i look at the stick and contemplate, as i look up, i see the reason.
how can this reason drive me to want and ramp my self into a wall..
there are so many things in the world that my only human brain can handle. sometimes you don't know if it's all a over reaction. you feel so strong aout one thing, in the consecutive moments, it seems to disappear. i always wonder what makes me forget things that have been sculpted on my bones... something new can just come in and tear you apart...
have you ever wondered why we let the smallest things tear ourselves apart.
is it the outburst of emotions that we say "high school drama" if prom is over rated, high school drama is under estimated.
it's real feelings that we teenagers battle.
where does all the rebellion come from? some blame it on their rocky families.. what about the upbringing....? everything tht refelcts on a person, is just a result on home. home is the place, whether you like it or not, is the heart.
i don't see the point in so many things.. lately i just want to be run down by a car... or just run into a wall... the adrenaline pumps me to a higher level... then is sooner sunken to depression... if you'r ein the fault, why are you suffering form these symptoms..
unlimited texting... how i wish it could be unlimited patience.....
how can i say something so harsh and heavy that could just turn someone over.. what hurts more is that.. expecting so much.. and just being pounched in my non existent balls...
i want something to fall on me and just squish me...
i'm feeling emo alright...
too damn emo...
it's turning me in and out tha ti have no more energy to deal with what emotions i have left... what's the point of explanations? explanations do not play as defenses... sometimes.. explanations are the expressions of what you really are feeling. why is it so hard to get accross the other room... why does it get so tiring to stand by it...
then, the people closest to you... make you acknowldge issues, that you can't even feel in your bones....
the repetitive music playing in the bsackground makes me wonder how...
the girl who screwed up. who didn't even notice what was going on... it hurts more when you find out in the end what really is going on... i don't know how to explain it. but it definitely strikes you more when it's long gone...
emptiness...
why does it feel so strong.. and yet... it can't be solved internally... it can't be accepted... why do you do tihngs to save somehting on the higher level, when that higher level is actually a mere reflection of my imperfection...
these imperfections thatjust drop on you, how do you even deal... not good enough... inadequate...
very..
where does all this energy and effort go to...
why do people feel like shit...
why do people cry...
