@6:38 PM
Love Sick
Its the allergy of being disappointed
The relapse of being hurt
Prescription of only one drug
The drug pushing you over
Rejecting this cure endlessly
Turning into a physical
Fate reveals the remedey
That remedy is never here
A bacteria to never be terminated
A virus that lingers throughout
The cure which is impossible
lame shit huh? hahahah i just had to do somehting o like get my bad vibes out.. i guess that was it...ha!
i don't know.. ive been obsessed with the terms "love sick".. i mean what is the real definition of love sick? im just saying it cos im sad and sick at the same time! hahaha.
so well.. haii..
the list keeps going on.. as the days go by, you try to forget things, but more things are put in your face.. maybe getting rid of these emotions are like the first step.. that seems humanly impossible..
my body is rejecting ittt... or maybe i just simply can't accept some facts.. phbbt. why does life have to be that way?
maybe.. its because i had not known an earlier.. and i was too easy..
its just a great haze of disappoinmtent that i have now. i feel somewhat of a failure.. this is like affecting.. fshhht..
if all of my days are going to be like this one.. dang girl!
i don't want to think ahead.. i don't wanna know.. but i just have to keep wondering... and its sooo disturbing...
obviosusly i never had that much strong of an effect. or maybe.. did'nt do enough... i don't know.. i have no idea...
i feel so disappointed.. not hurt.. just really really disappointing..
i wish i had a solution to this...
ive been trying to just stop thinking about it... everytime.. haii..
i waspushing the past away from me. when i could have dealt with it right there and then...
the hardest thing is.. you feel like your at the losing end, and the counter[art of this situation is probably just indifferent as it seems..
i have no idea... of how tooooooo... deal with all of this.. i don;t what the solutions iss...
i need a solution to like.. just stop thinking. cos evrytime i try and let it out toards the opposite side. i end up lsing my trial of thhoughts.. and then.. they;re already gone.. temporarily that is.. it haunts me so quickly after...
things turned out a different way... just in a snap.. everythin changes. we dont expect to change people.. if you were with them for a certain period of time... you'd think.. you had a certain kind of effect right.. even the tiniest...
i feel that i had no effec.t all my efforts trying.. never wprked out... usually if you try and try that person would be in a loss.. but now.. i feel like im really at wit's end..
disappointment turning into heartache? i hate using the word. but i can't find any other word which has a similar meaning to that. that sounds less cheesy and lame..
its depressing... i can see it creep into my personality...............
you'll say.."hey! im not thinking about it!" hello ! while saying that. your actually thinkingabout ot htinking about it.. so the it is still there..
im really tryin got be indifferent like the other party is.. maybe the other sidde is searching already. i mean if i did'nt care. i won't be affected by it.. but im really getting... hit in the head...
im feeling down.. and disappointed..
i don't know how to get rid of it..
.
thats why i need to be turned up side down so that all my bad blood somes out the right way....
haiii. maybe it is a failure. and all my efforts had really no effect or use, they were jjust empty. the idea of change, remained an idea and never turned into act.. :(
my vices were for my own good.. i knew that.. but at a point of time i did it for a different reason. i mean stopped for a different reason. cos i didnt want to disappoint you.. but to find out that.. things changed.. but feelings has'nt..
maybe all my power trying to help had never really been heard..
whats that song? "how to deal?"
yeah...
i don't know what im doing. i don't know why i cant control it. i don't know why i just can't stop...
i don't know why i feel like im the only one who's stupid enoough to stay in this level for the longest time..
gosshh...
this is bad.
its like im giving up on everything already.
like the end of the world is near..... waaaahhh...
sometimes people don't know about their say inner power? or like they're attitude. i understand when they are different with others. like.. u know.. someone different.. but shouldnt you show the real side to people whom u say "i love you" to? and not "casually" mingle with pther people righttttttttt...??@?@@??@
:(
