@5:23 PM
i was just browsing through my past entries, there has'nt been anything really worthwhile to read or something.
i mean nothing really with substance of the sort.
it seems like only when im paranoid, then i tend to vent our the proper way.
contemplating on how a person's honesty destroyed a bond which was on to a good lead. bad things come in 3s. i guess that was he third of them all.
who ever knows when the last goodbyes are?
sometimes doing the right things dont turn out the way you want to. i mean it is whats righteous. athough accordig to philoshophy, good can't be defined into simpler terms. what is right may not be good?
wrong. right and good are on similar terms!
what is right may not lead to something good more liek it.
i think thats my current inner conflict.
its a controversy (spelling?)!
i don't know what damage i have done, but it was definitely unintentional.. well i thought i was doinf wha was right or correct.
i thought in the undertanding of 2, honesty was always well appreciated.. maybe if i just kept my mouth shut about it, and just hide everything.. we could build a relationship on lies! betrayals! oh how i could have chosen that...
is'nt it so sad.... just so sad.
they say that love has no time limit and all that bullshit.
when you love someone you have to be patient right..
i juyst find it so amusing, that all my wishes from the past, are only coming alive right now.. when my patience has been running short!
imlooking for that same compassion that has seemed to be fading..
but compassion is'nt love! it has no equity of a sort!
maybe the relationship that was thought to be, was.. like built on betrayals?? that this simple honesty has taken a huge blow?! is that it??? that maybe your not used to it??
i always thought being open about things assisted people to be happier.. and it always made me happy.. eventhough there are its disadvantages! but life is'nt full of being happy straight away is'nt it!!?
i think i jumped back into something so quick.. something which i though had much depth... well at least that was what i felt..! but i think ive proven myself wrong.. i should have seen it from the first fight... tell me who the hell gets paranoid at their good friends?!?!?!?
i really thought that the time we shared together rubbed off a person, you know. letting them know.. stuff like.. "hey... im not perfect.. but im sureyou know that.. and like.. you know your the only one who i atually really are in to.. and like no one else.. so if there was anyone else, it would totally mean nothing. but thats like up to you believe. cos this yar shoudl have shown it and proved it to you cleearly, but maybe its just me.. who though that our depth would make these situations so much easier.. cos of the trust which i had thought existed.. he trust of me in you.. knowing that you were the only one.."
you know that sorta thing?!? just maybe!!!!!!!!
how is this possible!??!1
how can this just vanish away.. from something pretty damn shallow?!?!
and im just going to get the reply of..
do u think tha tyou didnt do things that would made me do those?
im always the one saying sorry...
WRONG! thats not true! oh and not to like.. forget.. the definite bringing up of the past!!!!!!
maybe if this was really the last goodbye...
i would know where i stooooood.
well guess what. i neever really knew what went on on the other side.. cos.. i just always talked too much!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
im gonna do my art project i cant seem to frikkin concentrate....
all im saying is.. i mean.. from this really long winding entry of mine, its like dude..! hello?!?! your babe is being honest!? hello!? hear her out maybe?!
instead of fucking hanging up!?! HELLO
but nooooooo..
that doesnt matter at all.. cos im just sooo shallow!!!
now tell me which part.. of "im willing to change" really!?!?!?!
u wont even hear me out! properly!!!
so much for hanging uppppppppp!!!
