@9:14 PM
heyyyooo..
sooooooooooo!!
we were in rustans for 3 hours picking out clothes, who would have thought that it would atually get tiring picking out clothes!!!
i've received new information... well... hahaha. seeing it from both sides. i shall probably just take it in? hahaha. oh well. i mean yeah ive heard what i was meant. hoping it still stands and wasnt like a scape goat. whichh i don't think it is anyway. your goodness cant be capable of that.
ive been contemplating on my bitterness the past week since last saturday, and maybe, it boils down on how i deal with it. getting over with it or while accepting things. if what was said on saturday was true, which still stands, then maybeee it would be an easier job. either way, if it wasnt... then.. it won't be a different story. i guess not everything has a happy ending. i've seen similar situations, on both sides. i saw what happened like.. on both sides of the wall. and it is a tendencies for girls, especially in my shoes to over act, well of course! we're made that way. but, knowing that your capable of over acting, then tells you where you stand already. it kinda brings you to reality. im stuck with the reality now. maybe i havent been totally honest with myself. who was i kidding? is this the bad outcome of it all? i don think it is, looking at the possitive side. normal to mourn... however, if the length of what was saaid only valid for a week? a few days? the "for now"? since i know that i would ovver act, or probably already have, now i ponder on the self assesment of denial. denying the thoughts. now, will denying lead to me knowing? i can only deny. i mean of course, i believe the things which were said, maybe to a certain level i can. but when will i ever know? so now, my knowledge is based solely on denial. obviously what i tell myself to believe to. i mean people, it is different when facts are flying infront of your face, its a different feeling. however when it comes to uncertainty, its up to yourself what you believe in. my basis, words exchanged.. and i surely hope they stand. "for now" two people, 2 defintions of "for now", and not to forget of course "forever and everrr"
love.
jealousy.
bitterness.
thats ok, my cup of tea :p
