@10:27 PM
i am scared. i have this fear of swallowing the next pill. i am afraid of the overdose. not just the overdose, but also the after math. i would want to be your perfect girl. i am afraid of screwing uuuup. i know we're onyl human and everyone has like room for mistakes. i don't see this possibility here. i am afraid of my insomiac nights to come just worrying about you. why is this coming all so dramatic.
the timing is just horrendous. i need to blurt this out. i love you so much. but this is still getting me anxious in every thought i process. it is the words that you do not say that sometimes cuts thorough me like a knife.
you just have to know how stronlgy i feel for you and that it was not a drastic change falling...
i WANT to be theree for you. i so wanna "catch you if you fall". in every rise and fallll... just let me do my thing and i swear i would try to ease the pain, or enhance the joyyy.
its this fear that's picking my brain. i do not want to screw uppppp. you have me my lovely bones. the laman of my tinapay..
@9:17 PM
why is it at this crucial peak that he has to get sick :(
championships are within the next two weeks,
I'm sure la
salle will fight it out with all their hearts. it's only now that i seriously don't mind jumbling the priorities with basketball and studies.
hehe. that team certainly deserves the glory. will speak hypothetically about it, so as not to jinx it. ha! :D
like all
varsities, they portray utmost dedication and
hard work.
we'll just have to see how far
their lasallian hearts bring them. i strongly believe that a pride of a
lasallian would be the reason why any varsity would win. a heart of gold and the lust of victory.
i question my lasallian heart now, i don't beleve i'm weak. i'm really trying to reasonable with myself and situation, respectively.
@10:19 PM
i was just browsing through the
emmys 10 best dressed, stunning dresses i must say.
it's not that i feel insecure. i t
hink sometimes i just need to be reminded that you need me. i want to feel that
overdramtized sense of being needed. i tend to forget about the worth of my presence.
i don't think there's any harm with airing my thoughts, i just need to get it out one way or another. i do feel like
I'm replaceable somehow. just so you know, you are irreplaceable. you get me my highest point of cheese. as cliche as it sounds, you've lessened my
prideful moments and make me feel like fighting is the most unnecessary
conflict between to 2 love birds.
you have allowed me to become fullest of me with just your presence, its hard for me to
put into words how deep these emotions are. do not underestimate my shallow words of obsession. for they are not about how crazy i am for you, but how lovely it feels to be with someone who makes me feel that there's nothing in this world to worry about.
i feel like you've become leeched upon me.
a leech that heals my wounds of desperation.
for with you there's no such desperation..
it is this severe admiration that i have for you..
i feel like my posts are never read by you, but there's only one youuuu.
these exact feeling don't exactly have to be felt by you towards me.
oh i how much i hope that just the essence of these words could be mutual between you and me.
i love you, there's just a thousand phrasesi could go on about you and i.
you just make me feel greatttt.
i just had to blurt that out (:
@9:02 PM
i don't know if this is a cry of attention or desperation.
hahaha.
i think it falls under both...
i wonder if my attention has diverted into an obsession. well i don't want to call it an obsession, because that would mean i'm compulsive over you. i am not self assured. a misconception to many, even to the closest among you.
what makes me more vulnerable, is that I feel that I can be replaced. It is that exact emotion that you don’t want to be replaced. It really gets me thinking. Is it an unhealthy insecurity?
An overbearing sense of care and concern.. To whom does this benefit?
Wonders of my little burnt head..
@5:06 PM
why do we choose to run away from the planned future...
why do we choose to hide what's in out minds....
why does every happy glorious moment, have to end with knowing, that it could be the last of it...
why why why.
i love mr. okubo.
you can be my lolo.
@12:26 AM
i would like to blog about my feelings for my boyfriend.
there's always this notion. that you would be saying current boyfriend. i think that's underestimating the status of a relationship.
i think this owuld be a compilation from all my thoughts this week.
lets start with the creature who ruins my supposedly bright starts. dang woman.
what i don't understand sometimes, is how people can put in so much effort in making a humungous facade. which i swear, only works on an audience. it's like i can read through you at one glance.
also, what do people do to yoiu for you let out such an attitude?
oh well.
oh, we had a game against st. stephen yesterday and i scored 4 points. ive been having a constant dilemma of quitting, and yes, i don't mind being open about it. i must say that, it is the company of the team that is my fundamentals of staying. and having to talk to masshi saying that it would be rude made me realize that i cannot leave the people i've been with the past year.
through the years, we grow mature in all aspects. i've noticed mine through the way i socialize, how i deal with my parents, my brother, my relatives.
and yet, we still have a whoel bunch of experiences to encounter.
for me, some of my most "life changing" ones were with the friends i adored the most. andi m happy. my first 2 surprises. hehehee.
myu firsy pair of slippers form someone else.
little things..
little things that really make you smile form looking back.
i believe that it doesn't matter what "cool shit" you've done. hahaha. however dorky it is, the people around you make everything worth while. i'm thankful for havign the friends i have now. hahaha. they've broaden my horizon on different essentials of the filipino culture.
i'm at the peak of my high school life and it feeels pretty good. to those who really exert so much effort into ruining your days. alrighty then go ahead.
hahaha.
love is a beautiful hting ain't it? hahaha.
brings out the best and worst out of a person.
:D
it just gotta remain mutual dearies.
@9:02 PM
hear my lovley thoughts.
it's been a while since i have been struck with paranoia, but this feeling is usually driven by insecurityy right?
that however comes from the lack of trust..
hahaha.
i think we just got to remind ourselves the tiny action that people for do us. a simple action speaks a thousand expressions of how much he/she would want you in his/her life.
do we keep them in mind, or do they have to be constantly doneeee?
had my first ever surprise, eventhough being spoiled by mang mel, i was rather surprised to see the people who came.
hehe thanks anna, hannah, boojoo :D
